Trying something new..

Hi Kids,

well, just when you thought I might be back in business, talking to you guys more regularly, sharing my wisdom (normally the kind you find in lucky packets or fortune cookies)…we’ve come across something new. Just over a month ago, I decided to sign up for the February edition of the International Comment Leaving Week (IComLeavWe for short, or ICLW for shorter). I figured it would be a great way to get me blogging more regularly and taking the time to read and comment on some of the other fantastic blogs out there. This was great in theory, but then your Gran passed away totally unexpectedly and the two weeks spent up in Johannesburg and the tons of things to sort out as a result have conspired to mean there’s so much work on and so little time. Work have been very accommodating and I feel like I can’t let them down…but I don’t want to let you guys down either (that would not be a good precedent to set)…and I don’t want to short-change the other ICLW’ers out there…The net result is that I’ll try writing shorter posts, some will be focused on you guys (as always) but there will be a few posts for the (hopefully) first time visitors to this blog. I’ll also set aside my lunch breaks this week for reading and commenting on others…hope that’s an acceptable compromise…

So, for fellow ICLW’ers…welcome and I promise I will do my utmost to visit each and every one of your blogs too – I’ve just finished my book, so will promise not to start a new one till the week is over.

And now for the obligatory “this is my life and IF journey to date” bit:

I was told at the age of 17 that I would never have kids…just like that, no beating round the bush, no endless series of expensive tests and fancy medical equipment, no hedging of bets or percentages…I’m not sure if this is a sign of living in third world South Africa 20 years ago, a result of there being no social medicine and fancy tests being very expensive, or a GP who had seen it all before..but whatever the reason, I went to my GP aged 17 because I was worried that I was a very late developer, and after his quick examination, that’s what he told me.

He did refer me to a urologist back then who did do some testing, but there wasn’t a lot of activity. I took the news quite hard (I’ve always loved kids, used to finance my petrol money babysitting on a fairly regular basis for a group of families), spent a little time on AD’s, and then moved on with my life. Moved over to the UK a while later, and thought I may as well make use of the free health care, so went to the doctor who referred me to some specialist…many tests later (this time including an MRI or two) and I had a diagnosis – Secondary Hypogonadism. This is a pituitary disorder – basically my pituitary is a prize-winning lazy git. So, Paris Pituitary isn’t producing the correct hormones which means my testicles still think I’m 7 years old. The original concern with this disorder was a resulting lack of testosterone, which is important for a number of reasons (libido aside). So, I was placed on testosterone (I call it ‘T’ because it gets annoying having to keep typing that long word) injections. I have been on and off these injections for the better part of 10 years.

So, after all these tests, the treatment was focussed on the issues around no testosterone – nothing was ever mentioned about fertility.

I met my gorgeous wife (HopefullyTCC or Mommy-in-Waiting depending on whether you’re on the Fertilicare forum or follow her blog) before heading off to the UK and what can I say…she stalked me. She followed me over to England and we got married almost 12 years ago. She knew before we got involved that I couldn’t have kids and never really asked me much about it (or maybe I was reluctant to talk about it and she picked up on it), but for whatever reason, we just assumed we would never have kids and that was that…

Then, just over a year ago, everything changed. The biological clock suddenly kicked in in a BIG WAY. I went to visit the GP who stuck me back on T injections (which turns out was NOT a good thing) and referred us to the Aevitas Clinic in Pinelands (which was a VERY GOOD thing).

To cut a long story short (“Too late” I hear you cry), before we venture down the donor sperm route, we are having a go at trying to kick-start my testes (ouch…bad turn of phrase) into developing fully and producing sperm. We tried getting them to produce T as an early indicator by giving me Pregnyl three times a week for 3 months, but after changing FS’s within the clinic have adopted a new protocol…Basically doing what my pituitary gland should have been doing donkey’s years ago. This involves three ampoules of Menopur and 1 ampoule of Pregnyl/Ovidrel a week. The FS has suggested this for at least 9-12 months, of which we are now 3 months down with 3 monthly testing (apparently sperm takes 3 months to develop in the ideal world…and our world is far from ideal).

I just went for the ‘delivery’ part of my repeat SA on Friday and will be getting my results tomorrow – all previous SA’s have come back as Zero/Nada/Zip on the swimmers front and we’re not really expecting this one to be any different…way too early really unless there’s a miracle.

And that’s my story really…

If you’re still here, still awake and still reading…cheers. We’ll return to our normal programming tomorrow…

~ by HopelesslyTTC on 22/02/2010.

7 Responses to “Trying something new..”

  1. I don’t do ICWL, for no particular reason, but do want to let you know someone is reading. 🙂

    It must have been awful to hear that ‘verdict’ all those years ago.
    Really, I can’t imagine.

    • Cheers – even though I didn’t start writing my blog for anyone other than me, my wife and our someday kids, it’s still nice to know there are people out there reading it.
      Yeh, wasn’t a pleasant visit to the GP, that’s for sure!! Certainly didn’t believe in sugar-coating it!! Take Care and thanks for reading/commenting.

  2. I am crossing everything possible for some good news with the SA. Your wife has a special place in my heart b/c reading her blog is like reading my mind. I am thrilled to follow along on your journey (but I wish I didn’t have to, KWIM?)

    • Thanks. We’re not expecting anything from this SA – too early, but there’s always that blasted little ‘what if…’ that creeps into the back of your mind…just to drive you slightly crazy!
      It is great to be able to read blogs from others dealing with MFI (and I know exactly what you mean about wishing we didn’t have to)…it does help you to feel less like you’re battling this strange issue all alone in the world. All the best and keep talking/writing (I’m really coming to believe it’s the only way of staying sane on this journey).

  3. Good luck with the results – holding thumbs at this end!!

  4. Hi – I only found your blog last week & am loving reading the male perspective on things. We’re about to start our own DS journey and getting more than a half sentence out of my hubby is a hard thing to do! He is getting more open now that we’re genuinely hitting reality at last though – yay.
    Keep doing what you’re doing & I hope all you dreams are fulfilled shortly! xox

  5. Stopping by for ICLW, its so great to hear a guy’s perspective on everything, I will be reading up on your blog, and I wish some great swimmers for you!

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