Strange and inane thoughts…

G’day kids.

not much to tell you today – and running out of time – got lots of bits and pieces to sort out because we’ve got a busy work day tomorrow – running a team building event for 30 people. I’ve come up with a few cool little exercises/puzzles for the teams to work their way through – gotta get busy packing it all in the car for tomorrow morning.

As I didn’t have anything specific to tell you, and my minds been in this strange conundrum/puzzle kind of place, I thought I’d share a few of the weird and wonderful thoughts that have been popping into and out of my mind during the last few days…there’s nothing deep or meaningful, just a few things I’ve found myself mulling over at odd times of the day or night.

So, here goes:

  1. Do battery chickens think they’re infertile? Your mom boiled up a few eggs last night for us to have for this morning’s breakfast, and as I was peeling the eggs this morning, this thought sort of crept up on me…I mean, think of it from the chicken’s point of view…phew, I’ve been popping out eggs like clockwork on a daily basis for over two years and not once has a little chick wondered up to me and called me ‘Mom’…It’s a funny thing the human mind…once you’re experiencing/obsessing about something, your mind finds the oddest connections…
  2. How come I haven’t seen a CSI episode where the suspect has been driven to some crazy murderous behaviour by infertility? You know, you can picture it…Detective Jim Brass interrogating some women who they suspect knocked off her husband cos she discovers he has zero sperm and she wants a baby ‘LIKE RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT!’ Or a women driven to some crazy high on fertility drugs smothers all the mothers at a baby shower with receiving blankets and then tries to abscond with the 12 babies, 48 packs of nappies, 8 dummies, a bottle sterilizer and 14 million babygrows. Or the one where the husband whacks his missus over the head with a baseball bat cos he can’t take any more of the mood swings. These are all perfectly feasible plots for a CSI episode…I’m just surprised I haven’t seen one yet.
  3. Do the lab technicians who perform SA’s have some mugshots of dishy, well-formed, perfect specimen, swimmers for the morphology test…you can see them with range of mugshots creating a sliding scale…from the Brad Pitt/Heath Ledger of sperm cell mugshots, through the Harrison Ford’s, the Tom Hanks’, the Patrick Swayze’s, right through to the other end of the scale with the Jack Nicholson’s, the  Marty Feldmans, and the Ron Perlman’s…Do they call over a colleague and say…”hmm not sure if this one should be a Steve Martin or a Karl Malden”.

While I’m talking about strange thoughts, there are a whole heap of conundrums/questions that I’ve seen/heard before that have stuck with me over the years…not sure why, but here they are- something for you to mull over:

  1. When you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?
  2. Why is there only 1 monopolies commission?
  3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
  4. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  5. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food and cat-flavoured dog food?

There’s loads of these, but these are the ones I can remember at the moment…Sorry for wasting your time really…I better sign off and go do something constructive now…bye

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~ by HopelesslyTTC on 09/12/2009.

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