What all weekends should be like…almost


Hope this finds the two of you in fine spirits. We’ve had a fantastic weekend, which is why I haven’t had the chance to post…

It was one of those weekends that started on Thursday and was super all the way through – nothing earth shattering, but one that’s highlighted to me the joys of being back in South Africa surrounded by family.

As you know, we spent 11½ years in the UK, but have been back in South Africa for almost three years now. One of the reasons we returned was the family. I’ve always loved spending time with nan & grandad – as a teenager I would happily spend the weekend evenings with my folks, while most kids my age were out drinking/clubbing/partying. At the time, I couldn’t see the appeal – would much rather sit round the braai with my folks sinking a couple of beers and winding the music up than gallivanting all over the place dealing with drunkards and the fist-fights that invariably accompanied those evenings out on the town.

Thursday night, your mom had her first book-club meeting with some of the ladies from the Fertilicare forum…so needless to say, I was kicked out the house. She was so excited to be meeting them, hopefully making some friends who could at least understand the situation we’re in, people she could talk to about our fertility issues, who firstly already know some of the story, secondly are in a similar (even if not identical) situation, and thirdly know how all consuming this infertility issue can be. People who you can share those intimate details with without the usual embarrassment or discomfort. I can understand why she was so excited to have them coming round.

To give you an idea what a strange affect infertility can have on a situation, the day before, your mom got a phone call from another lady that she’d met on the forum. They’d met each other at a coffee get together a few of them had had a month or so ago – just met up in a shopping centre and spent a couple of hours over coffee chatting about their various situations as well as god knows what else. Anyway, this lady called to ask whether your mom was home and when she said ‘Yes’ said, “OK…I’ll be there in two minutes”…which she was. Now, I’d never met this lady before, only seen her posts on the forum, and heard what your mom had to say about her after their first meeting and their subsequent emails/sms’s. But in she walks, absolutely buzzing with excitement, says hello and whips out a POAS (pee on a stick aka a HPT – home pregnancy test) and starts waving it around…and there were definitely two lines on the stick – which explained her excitement.

We made a cuppa and sat down in the lounge to chat – turns out she’d just been off for a blood test and was waiting the two hours for the result. Your mom got a phone call, and while she was on it, we sat there chatting and the amazing thing is that I sat talking to her about her normal periods and her normal symptoms and how the last one was different (because as it turns out she wasn’t having her period – she was pregnant). Ordinarily this kind of conversation isn’t something you would discuss with a friends’ husband…never mind someone you’ve met for the first time 10 minutes ago. Yet there we sat, discussing these most intimate details, with no discomfort/awkwardness…and that’s what infertility does to you…you find yourself happily discussing the most embarrassing personal issues with people, but without the usual embarrassment. Everyone’s in the same boat, and everyone finds that talking openly about it helps…so we’re united in our infertility and happy to find people to chat to about it.

So, coming back to the weekend…your mom was having some ladies round on Thursday night and I was banished…so I wondered off to movies on my own – Billy No Mates (as my best friend was overseas on his belated honeymoon). Sat and watched some rubbish movie (didn’t want to watch something your mom and I might fancy watching one date night soon). Realised once the movie was finished that it was too early to head home – I didn’t want the ladies to feel I was chasing them out. So popped in to KFC and sat there reading while sipping on a chocolate milkshake…and actually really enjoyed it.

Got home and chatted to the ladies for half an hour or so, which was great. They’re all going through this hellish experience (other than one lady who recently found out she was pregnant and possibly with twins), and each coping as best they can, but all keeping their sense of humour. When they left, your mom was so happy – she really enjoyed the evening, meeting new people and liking them all.

Friday was a quiet day, but rather than our usual Friday night braai at nan & grandad’s, we went out for Thai food with them. Was a lovely evening, with a good few laughs, great food, and great company.

Saturday was marred somewhat when we discovered that there was a power cut – this messed up our usual morning routine of sitting in bed with a cup of coffee or two chatting or reading. We sat there reading without the coffee, until I finally gave up, wondered into the garage and set up the camping gas stove and brewed some coffee in our camping percolator (which was actually a bit of fun). The day was further marred by the Boks loosing to the aussies in the Tri-nations rugby (I had to go round to nan & grandads to watch it as our power still wasn’t on)…but not a train smash as we’re still well on top of the table.

Straight after the Tri-Nations game finished, Grandad and & went off to Newlands to watch Western Province take on the Blue Bulls (currently 3rd and 4th on the Currie Cup table respectively). This is the first time I’ve been to the rugby with Grandad, and I really enjoyed it. We had lousy seats behind the posts (but as we never paid for them we couldn’t really complain), but it was still a fantastic day. The atmosphere was awesome. There were so many families there, all having a ball – in front of us was a mother with her two children (the son was about 8 or 9 and her daughter couldn’t have been older than 5) and it really got me thinking…

Jed, the day you are born, I’m not going out to buy a cigar or a pram or a bottle steriliser – nope I’m going to buy two season tickets to Newlands. And I’m going to buy them in your name. And we’re going to become the biggest Stormers/WP supporters, those guys who never miss a game, who have the rugby jerseys and flags and face paint – who scream and shout, laugh and cry and generally go wild watching our team. And Jade, if you fancy coming along, I’ll buy another season ticket for you too! (Although I have this vision of you and your mom going horse-riding on the days Jed and I are at the rugby) But if you’re keen, please join us with the greatest of pleasure – we’d love to have you with us!

And the season tickets will be in your names, so that when you each have your own kids, you’ll be able to take them to the rugby and scream and shout and laugh and cry with them too.

While grandad and I were at the rugby, your mom spent hours at Stodels, buying plants and trees and compost and bonemeal, etc etc etc. So we spent Sunday in the garden planting, trimming, tidying. We sat on the steps near the pool admiring our work and discussing how we need to train the one tree so that it doesn’t get in the way of the netball/basketball hoop that we’ll put up for you guys. We sat there in the sun imagining the two of you running round the garden playing ball, chasing each other, playing with the dogs, getting up to mischief…

I even jumped in the pool (dropped a brick in the pool so had to get it out before the kreepy tried to munch it), which was invigorating – the pool thermometer said 7 degrees!!! Then it was round to nan & grandads for a Sunday night braai and a chat (didn’t braai Friday night and we have withdrawal symptoms if we don’t braai at least once in a weekend)…

And that was our weekend – nothing outrageous, but wonderful…time with each other, time with your grandparents, a bit of excercise, a swim and plenty of time imagining you guys in our lives…what more could we want (other than you two to already be here).

~ by HopelesslyTTC on 07/09/2009.

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