Some things you should know…about your mom

Hi Kids. I’ve been a little unsure what to chat to you guys about today – feels like we’re in a bit of a holding pattern till our mother gets home tomorrow afternoon with the new injections…then we begin the latest round of the saga…

I figured it might be a good time to tell you a few things you should know. Things not necessarily related to infertility or life in general, but things more specific to you and your lives. Things about your mom…

The first thing you should know (and I’m almost positive you know this by the time you read this) is that your mom is HYPER COMPETITIVE!! I told her the other day that I thought she was one of the most competitive people I know and she stuck her lip out and sulked…it took me a little bit of time to realise what I said wrong, then told her that she was the MOST competitive person I know…and she was happy again!

I’m sure you guys know how competitive she is…it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that you’re reading this at the age of 4 – because you had to be the youngest/best readers in your pre-school. Think it through very carefully before you take up any sport/hobby/past-time – your mom will make Tiger Wood’s dad seem unsupportive or Richard William (Venus and Serena’s dad) seem half-hearted. She’ll insist that you put in all the hours of practise and she’ll be the mom on the sidelines screaming like a banshee that everyone else looks at and rolls their eyes. Because you will be the best of the best (hell, if she wasn’t such a pacifist, she’d probably enroll you in the Marines, Rangers or Green Berets just so you could prove how ‘best of the best’ you are).

As a kid, this will get on your nerves at times…I know. But here’s the secret – the way to deal with it is laugh…cos she’s so damn adorable with her competitiveness!

Another thing you should know about her is that Respect and Title are important to her. She’s not at all money motivated, but thrives in situations where she is perceived to be the expert/authority. We gave up travelling through Africa for five years (after selling our house, giving away our belongings and buying a big 4×4 campervan), because her company at the time offered her a job title. Being the only female associate director …sorry, that should be capitalised…being the only female Associate Director in the company was important for her – important enough for me to give up on our plans and stay in miserable, grey, shitty London for another few years.

She joined the Fertilicare forum and was horrified to see that you start off with a user level of “Junior Member”…she wasn’t happy with that at all – drove herself mad trying to figure out what you needed to do to drop the ‘Junior’ bit…she found out that you had to post 20 or 25 posts to move up the level – and she made sure she hit that asap…she’s fast approaching becoming a Senior Member which will make her very very happy.

She LOVES music. She’s always singing. She has her mp3 player with our whole CD collection on it (which is a good few hundred CD’s) and has them all on her laptop too. I’ve often climbed into your mom’s car with her and the second she turns the key, we’re blasted by whatever she was listening too when she turned the car off – at full volume…it’s a wonder her eardrums are up to scuba diving with the abuse they take with the music. Here’s the thing though – she hardly ever knows the words…she sings and sings and every now and again will get one or two of the lyrics correct, but the rest of the time…not even close. But it doesn’t stop her singing along at the top of her lungs. She obviously went through the teenage phase of spending hours learning the correct lyrics to her favourite songs, but that phase obviously didn’t last too long – she knows every word to every song that was in the charts in 1987-1989, but outside of that period…not so much.

There are a few exceptions to that. There are those albums she obsessed over at one time or another. She goes through these phases with some albums. She was like that with Joss Stone‘s first album…had it on repeat non-stop. Had a similar phase with Katie Melua.

She does a similar thing with food – but I think I’m just as bad on this one…we’ll find a meal we really like then we’ll have it two or three days a week until we’re absolutely sick of it – to this day I can’t face a stir-fry after we bought our first wok 9 years ago…stir-fried everything for months!! We bought a 4×4 to tour round Australia when we were there, it had a little set of drawers in the back for camping/travelling. In there we found this huge tub of Thai Green Curry paste – had Thai Green Curry everything for three months…to this day, when I think of Australia I think of green curry and when I think of Thai food I think of Brisbane…

When we rented our first flat together in London, we did a similar thing with spaghetti bolognaise – although, if I’m honest, that was more to do with finances than anything else. This flat had a little bar fridge, no freezer other than the little icebox in the top. We were so hard up in those days that we would virtually only shop at Iceland (a super cheap frozen food store), which was conveniently located over the road. They sold these big bags of frozen mince which we would buy, and because we had no freezer, we’d have to cook it all in one go…then it was spaghetti bolognaise for lunch and dinner for three or four days till it was finished. But, we were happy to do that, because we had our own space, just the two of us…and that was worth limiting out food selection for. Besides which, every now and again we would splurge on an Iceland special – they’d have a special where for £5 you got a frozen chicken, frozen roast potatoes, frozen peas and corn and a Sarah Lee chocolate Gateaux – LUXURY!!

The last thing I’ll tell you about your mom is that she’s clumsy…she breaks things all the time, drops things, trips over things that aren’t there, spills stuff…its constant. But every now and again I wonder if it’s an accident or a cunning plan. Like the time we were totally redecorating our little maisonette in Isleworth. We were painting the ceilings and your mom was up the ladder (I could reach the ceiling without it). Next thing there’s this almighty crash, I spin around and there’s your mom at the top of the ladder (complete with specs of paint on her face and in her hair – too damn cute for words), paint brush in hand, big brown eyes wide open looking down at the floor where 4,75 litres of white paint is spreading all over the lounge carpet…Needless to say we had to factor new carpets into the refurbishment budget…but it always seemed a bit suspicious to me…….

Now some people will read this and wonder why the hell I married her. She’s competitive, clumsy, borderline obsessive-compulsive, fiercely independent and mad as a hatter sometimes…but the thing is, these things are just a few of the very reasons I love her. She’s so cute with it all, she makes me smile, she makes me laugh, she makes me all warm and fuzzy inside…and I wouldn’t have her any other way…and I’m sure that you two guys agree.

~ by HopelesslyTTC on 31/08/2009.

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