This is my plan of attack…it looks like a nail…no, it’s a tack

Hi kids,

It’s been an emotional few days for your mom and I…so much so, that I’ve been a bit lax at telling you two about it, but I think I’m ready now.

As I mentioned in my previous post a few days ago, the people at The Pituitary Foundation in the UK, suggested a plan of action that should be able to tell us in 4-6 weeks whether there’s a glimmer of hope of my body creating its own sperm. Actually, to be more accurate, whether my body definitely won’t produce sperm. Basically, the POA is to go on HCG injections (predominantly LH which is what cause the testes to produce testosterone). We then measure whether my body has started producing its own testosterone, because this should happen quite quickly – within a few weeks. If my body reacts to the LH and does produce testosterone, then there’s a ‘good‘ chance they will react positively to FSH injections (which is what actually stimulates the testes into producing sperm). If however, my testes don’t react to the LH, then there’s virtually no chance they will react to the FSH = no chance of producing sperm.

So you see, it’s all a big “if, then, but” scenario. But the thing is, it gives us a way of knowing within just a few weeks whether we definitely need Zorro to makes his dashing appearance right now, or whether it’s worth going on the longer term FSH injections. We may still need Zorro if that doesn’t work…but only time would tell.

I really hope for your sakes that you guys have studied Biology at school before you get round to reading all of this…Biology was my favourite subject in school, I think I got the interest from Grandad, who is also fascinated by biology – he worked in the field for a long time. All this talk of hormones, feedback loops, oocytes, etc you practically need to have a medical degree to be infertile!!! Some of the ladies on the Fertilicare forum could probably qualify just on ‘work-experience’!

I loved biology at school, although, I did get thrown out of class once – I decided to tell a ‘biology joke’ while we were learning about hormones –

How do you make a hormone?       Don’t pay her…… dadishboom

Our lady biology teacher wasn’t amused – although as a 15 year old boy, I thought this was the funniest thing I’d ever heard!!

I learnt a valuable lesson that day (and one I keep learning time and time again)- much in life (including comedy and fertility) is all about timing.

Anyway, coming back to Friday…we met with our FS Friday morning. Your mom had insisted we write down all our questions and I’d printed out the emails from Pat at the Foundation. We were so highly strung it was ridiculous. Would the FS say we were wasting our time on a treatment plan for me – that we should be going down the sperm donor route straight away and start our search for Zorro…would he be miffed that we’d asked the Foundation for advise and that we were now bringing their suggestions to him?

He was superb. He chatted to us, we asked some of our questions, which lead us onto the treatment option. I explained researching things on the Net and contacting the Foundation. He read through their emails, talking us through every line of them, commenting on them as he went. And agreed that we should try the LH injections for a month. The moment he said that, your mom started leaking at the eyes (she’s been doing a lot of that lately!) and he was so good with her – saying shame, rather than rolling his eyes or ignoring her…he was brilliant. I was so relieved I nearly peed myself.

Since getting the emails, there’s been this internal battle raging: wanting to believe that there may be some chance of producing my own sperm and being able to have children ‘of my own’ versus that part of me thinking  that we’ve already come to terms with using Zorro, lets just get on with it rather than stir up hope which will just devastate me when we’re let down later. And this is the problem…we want to pursue all the options to see if we can conceive without needing a donor, but we’ve already actually come to terms with using a donor…so how long do we try, how much time do we spend trying to get my body to co-operate??

At the end of the day, we’ll be thrilled to have you guys in our lives whatever we have to do to get there.

So they’ve ordered in the HCG injection (Pregnyl – the same shot they give women to get them to ovulate – the only difference being they have one shot a cycle and I’ll be on 3 shots a week). Someone on the forum kindly pointed out that the Pregnyl shots really sting – but I’m a big chap and your mom has become quite adept at jabbing me in the arse…I think she enjoys having me at her mercy!! So I’m sure it won’t be too bad (and if I need to show an unmanly wince, I can hide my face in my pillow so your mom doesn’t think I’m a wimp). Seriously, you don’t want to have fertility issues if you’re scared of a needle – fortunately they don’t bother me, otherwise I might have passed out during blood tests in the past – it always seems to end in the ‘hunt for the vein’ game – sometimes I think I better not swim or drink anything for a few hours after blood tests – I’m like the human colander – a million holes poked in me!!

We should be able to collect the meds on Tuesday and start the series of injections that night – Tuesday Thursday Saturday – which suits us down to the ground as Friday nights is braai nights at nan & grandad’s. Friday night braai night is something I really enjoy since we came back to South Africa almost three years ago, I never get bored of my mom and dad’s company, although I think your poor mom wishes we could see most of her family as often (not all of them though!!). They’ve been so supportive and managed not to put their foot into it which is impressive because talking to infertiles is absolutely fraught with the danger of saying the wrong thing – even if you mean well!

So that’s our plan of attack – LH injections for a month, take (yet) another blood sample to see what my testosterone levels are like…and take it from there. We both seem to be in a much better place since the meeting – I think we’re both thrilled with the FS’s response and that if we do end up going down the Zorro route, we will always know that we tried everything reasonable to conceive you guys using my sperm – so no regrets.

~ by HopelesslyTTC on 30/08/2009.

One Response to “This is my plan of attack…it looks like a nail…no, it’s a tack”

  1. good PAO
    excellent spirit
    best of luck to Tarzan & Jane!

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